Foofooland. It's a place!

I was startled (I wuz) by the report from the kindred publication to the marvellous Rural Living, Business to Business. It stated that…GHD, one of the world’s leading engineering, architectural and environmental consulting companies…

…has appointed someone to the role of… People Manager for New Zealand, responsible for leadership, people development, succession planning and staff engagement. Finally, the end of the woeful title 'human resources' (HR for the lazy), is nigh! Orgasmic, that.

Fancy choosing a sexy alternative to HR, like… 'people'. HR is about adults. So I guess children are Mini-HRs. It is difficult to complain that some rotten 'human resource' has stolen your pen, again. Viva la 'People Support Unit (PSU)'.

But lately, another fulltime resident of Foofooland decided that… since the whole world is doing it differently, even if they are all doing it badly, we should put on our 'sheople hat' and do the herd thing. Country folks know about sheople. So, if the leading sheep is into cliff jumping…

The law will give preference to the 'safe car' which is only turning adjacent to the safe side of the road, and lets the vehicle in the middle of busy traffic whizzing by on either side, hang about in limbo. They even state how many accidents and lives that will save.

How do they determine that? Using global warming and population explosion formulae? Chortle. Chortle. I understand how this decision was reached. In Foofooland, people drink Moron juice and eat thicko muffins at morning tea. This is the follow-up to the latest moronic roundabout signalling rule.

Take a break from feeding the animals and maintaining the machinery, to follow this gem. You arrive at a roundabout (some are the size of a pond). Would you believe you are going straight ahead (one of just three simple options, unless you make a habit of driving backwards to places…).

That is why a car only has TWO indicators, for left, and right! Duh! 'About halfway' into the roundabout you gently turn on your right indicator (as in… 'I'm going to drive onto the island). Then 'just after halfway', you turn on your left indicator (as in… 'I'm just correcting meself.').

Now, country mates, how much Moron juice would it take to signal left and right to tell folks you're going straight. If you do both too early, the folks on your left might think you are turning left, and the people opposite you, may think you're turning right. One waits, one goes. Pray the right one does…

The law does not differentiate between little roundabouts and big roundabouts. On a very small roundabout, if you follow the law, you break your indicator arm. Clever, that. It's costing big bucks! See, once you have renewed your Foofooland passport at least twice, you don't know anymore.

I love my Auckland. Warts an' all. But who decided it had to be a 'Super City'. Some of the great cities of the world probably looked down their collective CBDs and muttered, 'Junior has a rather overblown opinion of itself.' For a while yet, Auckland will still be a group of suburbs looking for an identity.

The citizens of Foofooland are everywhere, friends. Some of them dwell in sporting circles. Like them wot created four calls to put down a Rugby scrum. But that's for next month, team.

No mucking abaht. Do you seriously want to become the you, that you really believe you can be? Like… different? Then e-thingie me for my PPM* : A different journey at duitdammit@xtra.co.nz If you have the guts… Until real soon. Cheers.

Bill Potter is a ChangeOvator, with THE DU IT GROUP. He is an author, international speaker and strategist. duitdammit@xtra.co.nz

Sister Publication