All rightee, then. Hands up those of you who were devastated when you discovered my article missing in the August issue of Rural Living (the must read for country folks with brains). Hold them up high please. Counting… OK. Altogether a total of… four people. Thanks family.

However, the ‘missing missive’ is online (well, look it up then…). I wuz busy and elsewhering at deadline time. So, me was to blame.

That’s the trouble with deadlines. You have to meet them. It’s like meeting your in-laws for the first time.

Townies live (and die… well mostly ‘die’) by deadlines. From the shriek of the alarm clock in the morning, to the shriek that accompanies the realisation of the lateness of the hour, as they set the alarm again for the next day, Townies are in a constant state of… a constant state.

A few days back, I noticed a man talking to the cabbages in the supermarket. ‘Poor bugger!’ I thought, ‘Reduced to this, by the recession.’ I’m a nice guy (I are!). So I thought I’d walk up to him and gingerly comment, ‘Say man, which cabbage are you talking to, so I can share this with you.’

As I closed in on the poor devil, I noticed a plastic thingie in his ear. It had a little light on it. It confirmed a very clear message… He was so unimportant, that he had to put a tooth in his ear, be on deck 24/7 and, while the jury is still out on the effects of wireless microwave radiation, he had a brain to consider!

That’s the problem of living in ‘rush times’ where ‘quick’ is the essence. You don’t have to use much brain for ‘quick’, which is good if your brain is already… you know. One thing I learned over the years. Important people do not make themselves this available. Hmmm. Funny that.

Country folk know where it’s at. They grow hair, in their ears, to act as a filter against the rubbish that passes for news and talkback nowadays. And speaking of being available, a lot of Country folks used to be in the All Blacks. At about the time when we were mostly winning matches…

Then, you never heard the national coach mutter ‘Well, you win some, you lose some’. At worst he was heard to drawl, ‘You win some big, you win some close.’ If you even had a draw, you might consider falling on yer pitchfork. Today, you get a bonus point.

Deadlines have been introduced for saving the world from the ravages of heinous humans. Go look in the mirror. Go on then. See. It’s you! You carbon imprinter, you! Newzild is the ONLY country in the WHOLE world with an agricultural, carbon footprint target, deadline. Duh!

Who thought that gem up? Altogether… Townies! Country folks know they can reach that target by lunchtime. Just stop sending products to market and to world markets. Are we sensing a little radiation on the brain here? Let’s forever more call this and similars,  a… Bluetooth booboo.

You read it first right here in Rural Living (the mouthpiece for agronomic sanity). One day, world politicians might actually address less ‘folksy’ issues like population, malnutrition, disease, water and trade, for starters.

The weather has looked after itself since ‘rates’ were introduced for middle-class cave dwellings…

Say. Do you have the guts to attend my unique personal growth and business dynamics Course, ‘The TERRIFIC Seminar’? Do you? E-thingie me for the good oil at duitdammit@xtra.co.nz Cheers.

Bill Potter is a ChangeOvator, with THE DU IT GROUP.  He is an author, international speaker and strategist.  duitdammit@xtra.co.nz.