In the first week of November, I resumed refereeing the Game of Touch (or Touch Rugby). It is my 23rd year refereeing it. I have kept a record of my Rugby and Touch appointments. So, in this week, I refereed my 1600th Touch game.

If you haven’t played Touch before, or seen the game, you are missing out on an excellent exercise regime, skill developer and social network. As with most sports, you can play it socially, through to international representation.

I had the honour of representing my beautiful New Zealand as a referee, at the Touch World Cup. Although it is a wonderful game at which we Kiwis excel at the highest levels, it is also a fascinating metaphor for ‘Life’ itself.

As with most activities, clever people play it, but… Silly People do too. ‘Silly’, a much kinder description than ‘stupid’, is variously defined as ‘lacking good sense’, ‘lacking seriousness and responsibleness’ and… ‘being helpless’.

Most of the players at our Module are ‘youngies’. I love their confidence, openness and their enthusiasm. Most of them belong to the ‘techno-generation’, which has some values, attitudes and behaviours that are admirable and… some that ain’t.

So, when I blow my whistle to start a match and discover (once more) that many players don’t have the foggiest as to how to play it, I worry about the country. For those of you wonderful Ruralians who don’t know the game, it is only slightly more difficult than… breathing.

It is so easy, that you only require the IQ of a cold Cappuccino to understand it. As long as you can hold, pass, roll and tap a ball, understand a 5 and 10 metre distance and know what a forward pass looks like, you too, can be a star. Do many players understand? Um… nope!

One player said, ‘Well, I don’t know the rules’. What? Garfield knows them! Here’s a hint to the techno-generation. Go to your computer. Turn it on. Good. Go Internet. Unbelievable, eh? Type in this little domain address… www.touchnz.co.nz. If all else fails, go ‘Google’. Amazing.

On the website, type ‘Rules’ into ‘Search’. Click GO! Click ‘Simplified Rules’. They obviously understand Silly People. Voila… Rules! Click ‘Print’. You get a page and a half that should remind you, not to bring your tennis racquet to a hockey match.

Occasionally I get told that he/she is having his/her first game. I ask, with my best look of incredulity, whose idea it was, to invite people to play in their ‘team’, but to keep the rules and methodology a secret from them. I haven’t had an intelligent response to that, yet.

So, here’s my point. You cannot let Silly People near the Rural zone. They cannot determine seasonal requirements, animal maintenance, crop development, environmental care, workday balance, pet love, country values, pest control or the pioneer spirit. And that’s just before having breakfast…

God gave us Silly People to make life interesting. So don’t look down on them when they come to buy eggs or veges at your gate. Know that they are part of the Divine Plan. That Plan is rural-based. Remember that. Towns were only introduced later, to give people… suburbs.