‘Here’s mud in your eye’. It’s a toast, which may have arisen from a story in the Gospel of John (Chapter 9), which referred to wellbeing and healing. It’s now used to wish a fellow drinker success and happiness.

But, for you brave Lifestyle Blockarians, the Big Wet has left mud in yer gumboots, ears and house. So, we send our best wishes, as you clean up and return to semi-normal. Just recite the first rule of ruralism… it will be better Next Year! OK, once more, with feeling…

I say this on behalf of Townies, who can’t believe they got their hair wet. The half-dead rose bush fell over, the morning paper was soggy and the cat left several (yes, several) drips on the carpet. My heart goes out to them. They are so courageous to cope with it all…

Yet, you are, sheltering the deer in the older kids’ bedroom, the poultry in with the baby, the horse in the lounge and the pigs in the laundry, while you tie trees to each other, row the kids to the school bus, borrow the rugby team to hold the barn roof down and do the lambing in the kitchen. Then you have breakfast…

Coca Cola contained cocaine instead of caffeine.

Piece of cake. Just another day on the land. But, there are rumblings afoot. More like foot and mouth. Some Kiwi architects, whom, as recently, as recent, stated that ‘lifestyle blocks are bad for the country.’ What!

Citing their concept called ‘rurban’ living, they want to sneak into your area at dead of night, and plant a few more Townies around your place. They say the era of the 10-acre block is over. It is inconsistent with ‘sustainable development’. What!

They want to create a cluster of 20-30 homes, designed and positioned in ‘sympathy with the landscape’. I may have had a few too many creaming soda milkshakes, but there is a funny old name for that cluster. Village!

You know, that wot eventually grows into a town and then a city. Now you have to leave, to find a lifestyle block, dammit! I reckon being in ‘sympathy with the landscape’ includes not building at the river’s edge or beside a cliff. Do use the sun, wind and simple materials though.

To cheer you up, something to enjoy.

These are stats from the USA that can make you feel countryish. The year is 1900. Only 14% of homes have a bathtub. Just 8% have a telephone. A time window when the phone can’t ring while you’re in the bath. There are 8000 cars and 144 miles of paved roads. The speed limit is 10mph!

The average wage is 22 cents per hour (much like here) with the average worker earning $200-$400 annually. More than 95% of all births take place at home (and we aren’t talking lambs, folks). Most women wash their hair once a month, using borax or egg yolks for shampoo. What!

One in ten adults can’t read or write (much like here). Sellotape, crossword puzzles, canned beer, insulin and antibiotics haven’t arrived yet. The population of Las Vegas is… 30. Coca Cola contains cocaine instead of caffeine. And you think you have it tough? Till next month then. Now, where did I leave that can of Coke?

Bill Potter is a Change Coach, with THE DU IT GROUP. He is an author, international speaker and strategist.