It’s business as usual at the Ark this month which of course means the critters and Offspring rule and The Man of The House and I just go along for the ride.

Barney may have slowed down but he is still a force to be reckoned with when food is present.

The Terrible Twins are still firmly in charge though they have calmed down slightly and they now understand the word bathroom, which is where they are now fed. 

When they hear the B word they gallop madly down to it and wait to be fed.  Which naturally has led to a whole new set of problems – notably for people leaving the room in question and not expecting to be mobbed by permanently voracious felines!

However, since The Twins seem to get more than their fair share of attention I thought I would share some of the slobradogs’ antics – especially in light of this month’s Breeders Digest.

Anybody who has seen Marley and Me and does NOT own a slobradog may think the story was slightly exaggerated.

Take it from me – it was not.  If anything it was understated.

When TMoTH and I met, he knew I was a package deal.  I came fully equipped with three Offspring, two cats and aging Border Collie.  He came with Barney – our yellow slobradog.

At that stage I knew little about Labradors other than they were cute and made great guide dogs.  I had no idea whatsoever that they are in fact part vacuum cleaner – or if I did I didn’t believe it.

The first time TMoTH came to the house to have lunch with the Offspring and I, I tried very hard to impress by baking bread rolls for lunch. 

The Offspring were very impressed – domestic chores have never been my strong point (begging the question why we have so many pets – but that’s for another day). 

Upon arrival The Offspring and I fussed over Barney – who was happy to be spoiled and chase tennis balls while waiting for lunch.  He was less impressed when he learned he had to wait outside while we ate.

Feeling sorry for him I let him in while we cleared the table and picked up a dish of rolls to return them to the kitchen. 

As I turned to speak to Miss 10 – who was then Miss 4 – Barney stood up on his hind legs and helped himself to the rolls. All of them. At once. Before anybody could react the rolls were gone – there were not even any crumbs on the floor.

TMoTH was mortified and Miss 4-now-10 was delighted. She and Barney have been best friends ever since.

A few months later, TMoTH and Barney, along with a few other friends, celebrated New Year with us.   Needless to say we kept a very close eye on the bread rolls.  Which I now suspect was Barney’s plan all along.  We were so distracted keeping him from the bread, we didn’t think about anything else.

Early on the morning of New Year’s Eve, TMoTH was making coffee for everyone and opened the fridge door to get milk. 

He held the door open with his foot while he finished topping up the coffee cups.  Barney happened to be passing and without even stopping to investigate helped himself to the nearest morsel. 

Which happened to be an entire ham waiting to be baked for New Year’s dinner.  From the picnic table outside we heard a distressed wail from TMoTH and looked up to see Barney trot past with his prize.  I swear he was laughing.

These days Barney may be slowing down but he is still a force to be reckoned with when food is present. His first port of call when he comes inside is always the kitchen – just in case the fridge door is open – and he always wanders past me with a silly labby grin as if to say “don’t worry Mum – I didn’t touch the ham.  Yet.”

See you next month.