There is nothing quite as peaceful as  looking out over The Great Urban Ark from the deck on a warm summer morning while sipping  good coffee, slobradogs snoozing at your feet, offspring happily occupied elsewhere (they’re of an age now where quiet is no longer worrying but in fact welcomed and encouraged).  

Our younger cat, Rosie, a fat fluffy bundle of good nature was stretched out in an impossible shape in the sun – a pastime Miss 9 refers to as “recharging her pussycat batteries.”

She (Rosie, not Miss 9) had that smile only fat, fluffy felines in the sun can get.  She snoozed oblivious to all but the warm sun on her fluffy tum.  That was about as far as the peace got I’m afraid.

Our older cat – a skinny, short haired  elderly grump who goes by the name of Harley, wandered out to join us and spotted his sister snoozing.  At this point I should say that Harley and Rosie have taken sibling rivalry to a whole new level. 

They are not actually siblings apart from in Miss 9’s imagination of course but that’s beside the point.  Harley will take every opportunity he can to beat Rosie to within an inch of her life. 

These attacks are totally unpredictable, often quite vicious and usually end with one of us – usually me – having to separate them. 

Have you ever tried to untangle fighting cats?  It’s not a job any of the males in The Ark are prepared to take on. 

So I usually wade in flapping a tea towel and sending Harley on his way while Rosie hunts for a safe haven  – which is generally in her favourite spot: a box.  Rosie loves boxes – but that’s another story.

Anyway, Harley spotted Rosie and made his move.  His pounce was slightly miscalculated and he only succeeded in scaring the heck out of both Rosie and me. 

As I mopped up spilled coffee, Rosie took to her heels.  This is usually pointless – she is fat, fluffy and generally pinned to the ground by all four, pointy paws of her brother. 

But this time she had a minor headstart and she ran.  She ran for her fluffy life along the balcony to the railing.  Over the railing to the guttering – yes that of the Amazonian plantings mentioned last month – and finally to the roof of the carport, Harley in hot pursuit. 

The Man of the House and I were racing after Harley yelling at him to “leave her alone”.  Finally some of this seemed to filter into whatever remains of his feline brain and he stopped. 

There was one problem – he was stopped on the guttering.  TMoTH and I  both realised the silly old beggar (Harley not TMoTH – although....) was going to try and turn around. 

Now Harley is skinny, but he’s not that skinny.  TMoTH yelled “NO”.  I yelled “NO”.  Harley simply fell off the guttering.  Did I mention we have a two storey house and this guttering is high?

I think the last time I felt so sick was when Master 11 showed me the scratch he’d done earlier in the day and it turned out to be a three inch gash requiring stitches. 

Harley did an amazing airborn acrobatic twist and landed on his paws.  It doesn’t matter that I know cats are supposed to do that, all I could think of was bones telescoping and splinters and how old he was and that he had slept on Master 11’s bed for 11 years. 

Rosie in the meantime was doing a pretty good impression of the cat in the Pepe LePew cartoons when she’s avoided the amorous attention of Pepe.  We raced down to Harley – and he was absolutely fine. 

The rest of the morning he was pampered with tins of tuna and dishes of milk and constant petting and checking.  All of which he found quite befitting a cat of his age and status, thank you very much.

And all of which may explain what happened the next day.  We were sitting having a cuppa on the deck when Rosie raced past in a flash of grey fur, followed by Harley.  Rosie button hooked to the left, Harley skidded like something out of a cartoon and sailed between the railings, out over the bougainvillea and all the way down to the ground.

I’m not sure if Rosie is trying to kill him or if Harley thinks this is the way to be fed a constant diet of milk and tuna.  Either way my heart skips a beat if I see him anywhere near the railing of the balcony!

Hope  all is well in your world.